DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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