SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize