matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
