lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
