are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
