Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
