Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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