But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
