the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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