After last night, I could never be a politician.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
