is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
