After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She needs sedatives and a leash
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am one with the molecules
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
