So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
