All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
