I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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