did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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