He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im holly from the hills drunk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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