So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
