that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
