we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
