Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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