Nicole vs. Life
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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