i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
