He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize