My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
