her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
