Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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