Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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