you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who died my cat blue again?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
