I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Two words: blizzard sex
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
