On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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