maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
