I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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