Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i think im in europe. pls send help
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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