We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
