oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm like, not good at living.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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