You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
false alarm, still single
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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