going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
