you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
