I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
