it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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