Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
