If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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