just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
