You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
