38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
