2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
