she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
