Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There r osticjed everywhere
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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