i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
