There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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