Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
