I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
