Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
