I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
