Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize