He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
