I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
