she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
