like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
