So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
